Proverbial “fork in the road”

It has been over a month now since Hannah had her skin biopsy done.  I send an email last week to our geneticist’s nurse to ask her the status (if it had completed growing out so it could be tested), but I never heard back.  I sent her another email again this morning.  


I will admit, not having multiple doctor appointments every week has done wonders for my mental state.  Seriously.  With the exception of the pediatrician, we haven’t seen a specialist since the ENT doctor a few weeks ago and Early Intervention a couple of weeks ago.   The next “round” of medical appointments won’t be until after the skin biopsy has been tested for the lysosomal metabolic storage disease workup.  


I still look at her, and I can’t believe she has something terminal.  Yes, she is developmentally delayed (still hasn’t rolled over yet and is just now grasping at things), she does have the enlarged spleen and liver, and yes, she does have the laryngomalacia.  But she is laughing, smiling, eating healthy, gaining weight, and just overall healthy-looking and happy!  Call it denial or whatever, but I really have a hard time grasping that their lead diagnosis is something like Niemann Pick type C.  Just isn’t registering in my brain anymore.


Regardless, I do find myself a bit lost.  I feel like my life is on hold right now until we know which direction we are going.  We joined our local temple last week, and under “volunteering”, I didn’t put anything because I have no clue what my life will be like after we get the results.  I haven’t volunteered for any of the kids’ school functions because, again, I don’t know what my life will be like.  So many things are “on hold” until we know which direction we are going. 


Again, I just want answers.