So Long, Farewell…

I am coming up on two years since my sweet little girl passed away.  Two years.

How could two years have passed yet I still feel as raw and affected as if it was yesterday.

I have changed so much in the past 5 to 6 years, especially the past two.   Things that were once important, no longer have as much weight.  I have developed more tolerance and patience in some aspects in my life yet in other aspects I have lost these same things.

A dear friend who has known me for more than a decade shared with me what changes she has seen in me.  I was really surprised that it was that noticeable.   I don’t feel like I am that different, yet I can see how I am.

I am content with this “new me.”  Happy?  I admit I am fearful that I will never truly be happy again.  Although I do have many happy moments in my life, and I am working to embrace the good in my life.  But overall happiness?  That weighs on me.

In the end, I believe my journey sharing Hannah’s story on this blog is now over.  My focus is now working on Hannah’s foundation, being a mom to my two older kids, and working on those passions that help me continue to be a “parent” to Hannah.

I am forever a “grieving mother” but I don’t wear this on the outside the large majority of the time.  People don’t know what to say or how to act when they find out.

However, I want the world to know that I am a mom to three children.  Two at home, healthy, and growing up – one who is up in Heaven who I miss terribly and think about often.  Three children.  Three.

Forever my little miss Hannah.  Forever my little love.  Forever in my heart.

I plan to keep this blog online since a lot of people who are researching Gaucher’s Disease type 2/3 find it and, I assume, use it to find more information about this horrific disease.