Keeping a sense of normalcy

Thank goodness we have Ethan and Abby.  Seriously, if Hannah was an only child, I think I would have fallen into a major depression by now and would never leave our house.

But Ethan and Abby force us to continue to live our lives, even if it is not at full throttle.  Because we have about 70 of our 80 nursing hours covered (51 by our favorite nurse – 5 days a week), we have felt comfortable leaving Hannah at home while we allow the kids to continue their extracurricular activities.

Saturday, Daddy and I were out of the house for about 4 hours (my first time getting out in over a month for an activity other than a quick meal).  Because Abby was at a harvest festival with one of the girls on her volleyball team, Daddy and I took Ethan out to lunch.  I can’t remember the last time it was just the three of us for a meal!

After that, we went directly to Ethan’s flag football game.   It was the first game I was able to go to, and it was really exciting to watch my baby boy so intently passionate and into a sport that he loved.   Immediately after, we rushed over to where Abby’s volleyball game was.  I was clapping and cheering so loudly for them, especially Abby when she scored a point on her serve!   When the game was over, we all went back to our house (including my in-law family, nieces, and nephew) and had a BBQ.  Even though Hannah was out most of the time, she was still right in the room with us (we have her twin bed in the living room now).

We had kind of forced the kids to take a year off of sports since we moved here from Texas, so we had promised to let them do it this year — not realizing that we would be in this position so soon.   But it is so good for them.  So Daddy and I promised ourselves that we would work hard to make sure they made all their practices and games if they were up for it.  Fortunately, some wonderful moms on Abby’s volleyball team have offered to take Abby to practices so if we don’t have a nurse that evening, Abby can still get there.

Sunday, Daddy and I decided to take Abby out for a few hours.  Ethan spent the night at his grandparents house (Abby is in this “need to be near mommy phase” and didn’t go), so the three of us headed to our local mall.  I can’t remember the last time we actually went shopping in the mall!

After lunch there, Abby asked if she could get her ears pierced.  She has wanted to do it for over a year, but we were going to wait until she was 10 or so.  You know, a right of passage like I went through when I was younger.   But Daddy and I both felt that she needed this now, and if she wanted to do it, let’s do it.    And she did.  She did great!   She got a Hello Kitty starter earring set (she is in love with Hello Kitty stuff now — if they had American Girl doll earrings, it would have been a toss up!), and she is just so proud!   She shows them off to everyone.

Then yesterday evening, after Daddy got home from his conference, I took Abby and Ethan to her Brownie Halloween party.  At first I didn’t really wanted to go because I was just so tired and not in the mood to socialize, but I am so glad I went.  Both kids had a fantastic time, and I really enjoyed just hanging out with other families.  Even though many of them knew what was going on with Hannah, I was able to keep my composure and share what was going on with her when I was asked.

But the good thing was that it wasn’t the main topic of conversation, which I appreciated.   It’s like I want people to ask about Hannah, care about how she is doing.  But I also want people to realize that we can talk about other stuff as well.

Even though it was just a few hours a day for the past few days, I really needed it.  There were many times during these past few days that I went through major guilt pangs, thinking that I should be at home with her, but I was also brought back to reality because Ethan and Abby needed me too.

I had to remind myself on MANY occasions that Hannah was being cared for and loved at home (which is why we aren’t training any new nurses), so it was almost like I had to give myself permission to laugh, enjoy myself, and cheer on my kids.