We made it.
You know how you sometimes don’t want to mention something for fear that you are going to jinx yourself and then it will happen? That is exactly how I felt these past two weeks.
We have had three birthdays in the past two weeks – mine, Ethan’s, and Daddy’s (which was yesterday). When we were sitting in the hospice a few weeks ago, we were so afraid that we were going to lose Hannah on one of our birthdays. More so Ethan’s birthday than ours…we didn’t want to lose her on his birthday, you know?
But as Daddy’s birthday came and went (having turned to the next day just 30 minutes ago), I am so relieved that Hannah is still here.
Of course, now we have all the big holidays coming up…Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas…
But at least she has made it through our birthdays.
I wondered if you were thinking about that when I saw “daddy’s” bday show up on facebook yesterday. I swear I have Christmas PTSD because of all the Christmases we have had unhappy events occur.
I am of the take one day at a time kind of gal. I thank God each morning I wake up and each night when I go to sleep. I lost my dad with no warning, said goodbye to him in the morning when I left for school, and by noon he was gone.
Keep talking to Hannah, tell her you love her and tell her your secret fears and hopes. She can hear you and she loves your voice.
I consider it a good year if there were no hospitalizations, no surgeries, and no major accidents.