I haven’t been able to get Little Ethan out of my mind since he passed away last week from Gaucher’s Disease type 2.   When his dad caught me the morning after he passed and told me what happened, it has felt like a knife in my heart.  I know my husband is feeling the same way, as it has been almost a week, and he is still reeling from the reality and senselessness of his death. 

I have received about a dozen or so emails over the past couple of months asking how he has been doing since his mom posted his story on my blog. 

His dad and I have chatted quite a bit over the past few months just keeping up on our kids.   The conversations were very open and sometimes brutually honest, especially between Darren (Little Ethan’s dad) and my husband.  I was grateful for their outlet to talk to each other, as my husband needed to reach out to another dad going through this disease.

I keep thinking about what my friend, Nicole, said after she lost her beautiful son, Greyson, to Krabbes disease at 11 months old.  She said that he finally was able to leave his “broken body” and be free to run, play, and soar.   I hope that he and Little Ethan find each other and run, play, and soar together.

I don’t think I have ever had such a reality check as I did with Little Ethan’s death.  We knew him for 7 months or so.  He is the 7th child to die of this disease since Hannah’s diagnosis that I know of.  

I go through periods when I think how different Hannah is going to be and how she is going to be the one to beat this disease.   Hope makes you believe this; the alternative is not an option at this point.  But then I also think back to Nicole’s comment and relating it to “Hannah’s broken body” because of this disease.

Little Ethan, you will always be in my heart.  I know that I will never, ever forget you.